Have you ever experienced toxic friendship? That friendship that felt like the best thing in the world and that became the most miserable time of your life at the end of it. Well I will share with you my experience and maybe some of you will relate.
Will call this girl Mary. Mary and I have been friends for 11 years, she was my first ever best friend we really clicked when we first met each other at 5 years old, for a couple of years after we lost contact but ended up accidentally going to same school (grade 7) where our friendship became even stronger, at least that’s what I thought. We’ve been hanging out 24/7 and she was like a sister to me.
A couple of years later a new girl came to our school and we’ve been hanging out all together the three of us, but then Maria became friends with a very dodgy group of people, and from the most amazing, caring, friendly girl she changed into a drinking clubbing person. And I would tell her about it here and there because it was definitely a shock to me.
Guessing that she didn’t quite like my “unsupportive”attitude she became really distant at school, we practically stoped talking, but we were still hanging out all the time outside and it was as if I knew two Marys.
And then in the beginning of summer I decided to talk to her about that. It seemed like she’s gone mad, she took it as if I’ve been accusing her in murder. The whole summer was hell I was extremely upset about the whole situation and wanted to fix it somehow but it seemed like she jumped at the opportunity of not being friends with me
Putting down some details that would take too long to write down I’ll go to the ending
At the end of summer she wrote me a huge letter saying how she’s been trying to stop being friends from year 9 and how I didn’t let her distance herself from me and that now finally we won’t have to be friends anymore.
And that truly broke me, I mean completely. Then I realized why people say that ending a friendship is harder that a relationship. We won’t back to school in September and maybe 10-20 types been together face to face just the two of us and said nothing. We haven’t talked for 10 months. She came back but earlier and started spreading rumors about me with another girl who she used to hate.
I pretty much was crying every night until January and it was a first time when I experienced anxiety which again I haven’t talled anyone about. Mary made school hell for me. I’ve been skipping weeks of school because I just couldn’t face these people.
Thankfully I met really good friends this year but nothing in comparison to what we had. I guess it just takes time. And yes both of us were wrong. And yes I should’ve ended this friendship much earlier but I couldn’t I felt like I was addicted to the point where it took me almost a year to get over her and even know I feel extremely emotional when I remember us
Anyway, I don’t even know if I will ever post this, and if I do I’m sorry for such a long rumbling on I just never really told anyone about this.
Girl Enters xx